Gender
The State

Imagine: A Test

Rev. Steve Schlissel - September 24, 2008

Imagine this scene, a few short years in the future. We see a nation spent past its resources. The future is already in hock to the third generation, what with expenses from wars around the world, maintenance and expansion of Home-land Security (which chooses to spend billions rather than simply profile), another couple of weather-related disasters, not to mention the 1.5 trillion dollar spending spree when the Feds gobbled up Wall Street. Well, at least the SEC became superfluous, since there were no longer any traders to regulate who did not already work for them directly.Now add this to your vision: the Gore Scouts have done really well at convincing congressmen and senators that “global warming”–after a three-year retreat that saw colder temperatures at the poles (which they’ll claim to have both predicted and factored in)–is back. A blue-ribbon panel assembled by three United Nations agencies, has just released what they call “The Final, Pre-catastrophic Report” (FinCat for short). FinCat predicts a worldwide flood will engulf the coastal borders of every body of land touching a major ocean. The seas will overstep their current bounds by at least 600 miles to the interior. That means the Mississippi River will be absorbed by the Atlantic and Indiana will be the eastern-most state of the USA. California will be entirely submerged as New Mexico steps to the front of the line to become the New West Coast.

FinCat offers just one hope: a radical, massive, worldwide  confrontation of the problem to be led by the United States. The proposal includes the demand that every able-bodied citizen of every nation expected to be affected by the swelling arctic waters be conscripted to construct sea-walls and other emergency structures and vehicles and watercraft. Those not engaged in this First Tier battle plan would be assigned to work for a new international agency call VSS, or, Vital Support Services. All work on planet earth would be restricted to First Tier or VSS. The cost to implement  the FinCat proposal–which would entirely eradicate all non-emergency related business and enterprise–is figured to be at least $13 trillion. The alternative, they say, is simple: annihilation.Though sore wounded, bleeding and limping from the series of crises mentioned in the first paragraph, the United States is still the leader of what’s left of the “free world.” All other world leaders believe their nations are  technologically and intellectually incapable of interacting with, much less challenging, the UN’s gold star panel. The only thing of which they are certain, aside from the fact that they cannot rebut FinCat, is that the USA, with the most talent and the most to lose, is the only entity that could possibly stand up to the UN agencies and their twelve apostles of science.

In fact, an alternate report, which claims to contain irrefutable proof that the Gore Corps and their sympathizers, including the UN panel, relied upon erroneous presuppositions which skewed the data, which in turn severely distorted the conclusions and predictions dictated in FinCat. Released only six days after FinCat, the other report, which can fairly be said to represent the only other credible and credentialed scientific voice addressing the critical matter, was the fruit of the labor of virtually every first-rank scientist who had not been drafted by the UN agencies. In addition to castigating FinCat for its “faulty premises and radically wrong conclusions,” the group, which adopted the moniker “Not Only About Heat,” or “N.O.A.H.,” said that they included in their considerations the Bible as an authoritative source. In it, N.O.A.H. said in a press release, was “an unequivocal promise from God that no universal flood would ever overtake the earth and its inhabitants again.” FinCat’s authors point to this admission as proof that N.O.A.H.’s report “is not, and could not by definition be, good science.” The President of the United States was said to be giving very serious ear to both sides.

At this time in history, would you want as your President a menopausal or premenstrual woman, who was experiencing radical temperature shifts–including hot flashes–at unpredictable times for unpredictable durations?