A Brooklyn Friendship Tree Grows on eBay

by Steve Schlissel

I ordered some office supplies on eBay to save some dough. When I saw the shipping charges, I said to myself, “There goes the savings.” So, seeing how the vendors name was “twoguysfrombrooklyn,” I decided to deal with it Brooklyn style. And since he was a real deal Brooklyn boy on the other end, he played his part to perfection. While this seems like a simple exchange, it’s actually a highly complex and tightly choreographed way of relating, filled with cultural presuppositions and overtones. Okay, maybe it isn’t, but any sociologist will tell you the climax happened when he acknowledged that NYC is the best. I thought I’d share with you: A New York Moment in Cyberspace.

Dear twoguysfrombrooklyn,

You guys killed me on that shipping AND insurance. I coulda picked the stuff up myself! I’m in Sheepshead Bay. Waddaya tryin’ to do to me?

Dear schlissel,
Hi. Actually, it was my business partner who shipped this to you while I am out of town—coincidentally, in New York! I was walking him through the shipping but he must have hit the insurance button for some reason… Anyhow, I am going to refund your shipping cost. How’s that? I’m still in New York, leaving back for CA tomorrow. If you don’t mind waiting a day, I will take care of it for you then.
Thanks for being patient—in the end, you’ll come out ahead, since you won’t pay any shipping.
Thanks,
Paul

Dear twoguysfrombrooklyn,
I got your message about refunding the s&h to me. You are right—I can’t beat that. And it shut my mouth. Thank you very much! You know, when I saw your note, I realized that I mistakenly assumed you were still in Brooklyn. Apparently, for some inexplicable reason, you moved. Well, I’m the only one of my family of six who stayed. But folks like you made this place better. Thanks again.
steve schlissel

Dear schlissel,

Hey Steve-
No problem. I’m jealous that you still live in NY and I don’t! I’m still here in NY until tomorrow. I visit every two months to see my father who still lives here. This evening I went to see West Side Story on Broadway. As great as it is to live out west, there is nothing like seeing a great Broadway musical, and after, a piece of Thick, gooey New York cheese cake. Back to your order—I’ll be leaving to CA tomorrow afternoon and on Thursday I’ll take care of your shipping charge. For a fellow Brooklyn-ite, it is my pleasure!
Take Care-
Paul

Dear twoguysfrombrooklyn,
I have a fresh Junior’s cheesecake in my fridge right now. If you ever get the urge and need someone to set the pick, I’d be glad to get down to dekalb and have them send one out your way. Just say the word—er, the woid.

steve

schlissel@aol.com
i saw west side story 11 times in the movies when it came out. “Keep away from my seester!” Ha!